ruishan . i wanna to get tgt with you. i dont mind you having not enough time for us two . dont brush this off alright. give a definate answer. make me wait for you if you want to . i dont mind at all . i'd be more than willing to convince you .

and yea dont ignore me cause you wanna reject me . tell me in the face. hope it isnt the case tho . we can still remain on talking terms if u decided that i aint good enough for ya. thats it . no matter how busy you are, finish reading the few entries and give me an ans. via email, friendster, msn or even on this blog. alright all the best for me

i've been trying to reach you . its hard. " sorry i was busy ." is what u brushed me away with everytime . i cant get pissed. i can never been mad/ upset with someone i love dearly. but do i not deserve this tiny nminy bit of attention at all ? ruishan . i think u have a slight idea of my feelings towards you . i need you around . the fact that u had 'alex' on yr personal messgae makes me ponder alot too . i want to get to know u better . i just dont have the chance . i maybe able to be irritating enough to send u 2/3 messages without receiving any reply at all , my messages to you via friendster . needless to say . ignored . too busy again ya ? i am constantly taking out my phone to check if there are any messages . no . no nothing . nothing at all . no response. no response at all . do you know how much i need you ? i have been keeping this blog for you cause i wanna let you know how i feel. not to let myself end up with disappointment . i might be able to send you the url to this blog. but would you even bother to click on it and read the past entries? would you even bother considering kaixuan as a contender to be yr boy friend ? i care alot . sometimes to much for you to think that i m a pest. sorry if thats the case. but i care dudette. i care . i care too mcuh for my own good sometimes.


consider pls.

i love you. i think i dreamt that u wear sitting infront of me durin maths . haha wow u finally replied to one of my message. finally. short entries these few days . not much to type about too . since we haven been texting alot . i wonder when would be the perfect time for me to show u this blog. i dont want to freak you out and get sth nasty from you . so yea . good luck to me . i love you


ruishan !! <3

hey ... u haven been replying to my messages.. i wonder whats wrong. quite fearful tho. sent u an email. hope stuff are still positive .


i love you .


ruishan ! <3

haha i love u . everything about you. i love you more than my shoes . my grafs , my polar bear . my penguin . ruishan i love you .


chinese common test + a maths test tml . sure to have time to daydream about you. but for a maths ...... X_X least confident . maybe i am like u too . cant do maths....

ok nvm i shall go collect my shoes already !!!! so thrilled ! 3 pairs @ a go . omg omg . haha i love you ! bai bai


ruishan !!! <3

its raining. and i m feeling cuddly . how i wish we can like just hug onto each other and hear the rain. its gonna be nice . i love u rui shan . i really do !

tiring day today . didnt want to msg u but couldnt resist the temptation . but oh well , u didnt reply . haha at least we hadda a lil conversation before school. lets meet up soon alright ? i would be over the moon . on my birthday... haha highly impossible la. you make me feel as if you are so unreachable. so distant. but nevermind . i love u .

ruishan !!! <3

lazing on my sit . hugging my pillow and thinking of you . i cant get to start revision ! how ! =(

yr past blog entries are ... so emo . i really hope u are alright now thou . 12 hours of sleep !! omg i am envious . and yea i really dreamt of you last night. forgot what was it about but well, i m pretty sure its stupid ! =D my close girl friend in sec 1 and 2 used to tell me she would like any guy that she dreamt of . maybe i should follow suit ? but wait i m already liking you . haha . pls........... reply to my messages more often . lol although one is good to last me a day , the more the merrier ! you have fun with yr stuff . rest more lor . later u shrink . alright shall stop here .
rmb the s.s test i msged u about , its postponed to tml !!! >=O another round or mad memorizing . everyone hates it .

ruishan !!! <3

oh haha . a few messages in the morning and one after recess made me happy. seriously , i am contented. hope u have fun in the rainy day >_> monday sucks even the weather .

i need to pia my a maths today . =( quiz tml and if i fail i will have to go for remedial. i would still not kick the recently habit that i picked up recently --- thinking of rui shan . you have successfully invaded my whole mind already. i just love u and the thought of u .

ruishan !!!! <3 omg haha how i wish we are together now .

hope u done well for your dance ! oh no. not replying my message agn =( nevermind. i'd still love u

ruishan !!! <3

zzz. the question u asked me yesterday is still bugging me . you haven replied my message since . well , the fact is that i was really framed by the 3 girls. i broke up with amanda yaw when we were in sec 2 and then bao yi asked me out for me to tell her whats going on. who knows . the following day i was called back to school and three of them accused me of molesting bao yi . they even have their testimonials aganist me . of course , i denied cos i did nothing like that and i knew that its gonna be sth serious . but ya . 3 against 1 . who wins. >_> besides they are protected by the under 16 law or sth similiar to that. so yea. if i chose to prove that i m innocent we would have to bring it to the court. mr ong made it clear at that point of time . my dad told me to just admit to what ever i did not do and just accept the punishment which was 2 strokes of cane ... causee we would have to go through alot more problems if i chose to remain on my stand the mid year exams were nearing also . so yea. the 3 girls promised not to leak this out. but eventually they did. i gone through all the consequence of stuff i didnt do . because of them . i made the wrong choice by being together with amanda. i was even boycotted when i was in sec3 because of this incident . i didnt do it .few trusted me. most of the people out there question my intergrity when i denied . but anw . i dont wish to talk about this anymore u see. it has been close to 2 years already. the only reason why i chose to come clean with u by typing out everything in this blog is so that i hope u would be like the minority . if we ever get together , i dont wish to be bothered by this fact. and if u ask . the answer woulds till be the same . i did nothing .

i do admit that i was feeling abit crazy and desperate when i was in sec2 . but yea . all the pangs for having a girlfriend did not lead me to doing such stuff. i found one eventually . the one whom gave me loads of trouble after we broke up .

and yea . u didnt reply my friendster message. i guess you were freaked out or something . i hope not tho. i still like you alot. u're still popping out in my mind. but thanks to the question u posted to me last night. i m really not feeling too good. i hope this doesnt affect us too much . but somehow i am certain it will .

i love u small. hope this feeling is vice versa . i would love to see u smile when u see me. i am really serious this time round . pls rui shan

omg plssssss. may the force be with me . give me a positive answer. lets hope we'd go out next week tgt. dont let my shy-ness get the better of me pls !!! >=O well still have to depend on yr answer thou . plssssssssssssssssssssssss good luck to me ^^ omg omg

lol. hope u had fun ytd . was rly missing u like shyt at home la . none of my messages replied too .i wonder whats wrong . images of u are floating up again ... xD i like that feeling . haven had that for long . ever since i broke up after a fling early last year, no one had really given me this kinda excitment , anxious-ness when i see them . its this feeling that makes me so attracted towards you. i will have the urge to spill everything out to someone but i am afraid that i'd irritate them cause i would have alot to say about you . oh well , i would just contain everything inside me and spill everything here lor. even if i empty them , they would still be present in my mind. haha .

will post again when the thoughts you in my mind has overflowed again . =D


ruishan !!! <3

haha ! i love crabs but i love u more !

haha ! kaixuan is uber happy today !! first , i got to msg u thou u didnt reply some but yea bugging ruishan is still nice. and i got sth for you ! just hope that u'd keep it . hahaa. am starting to wonder if i am really serious about this. i really wanna get together with u and stuff. ^^ i guess i am really determined to . hope u'd give me a chance after reading this lor. xD i was also uber uber happy that i managed to catch a glimpse of you when i was walking up the staircase. my eyes were glued to this awesome girl with a small frame. ruishan !!!!

anw i was so damn shy just now. i think its got something to do with your friend. xD and yea u was very very happy to see u ! more happy than excited . but well , shy-ness spoilt it all. i wanted to start a small conversation with u but my feets just force itself to walk away back to class. haha . but in my mind when i was walking back i was damn happy.

LOL yr message came !!! haha . i m thrilled by small stuff like this . shall ask u out someday when we are closer. i swear i wouldnt be shy ! i hope so .


gonna retreat to my bed and wait for yr message while i fall asleep. you have fun with yr band dinner !


ruishan !!! <3

yea !!! i saw u in sch tdy when u were taking yr class photo . haha my wish came true . was talking to yunxi about you in class this morning . and thanks to the topic ruishan , periods passed quickly. i was so happy to see u just now la ! i was like 'omg omg shes ruishan ' haha u're puny . hope you'd like wanna leave me with yr number ..... gna pia s.s and miss u . =( how i wish u are online whenever i am .

haha ya , i m happy enough today to catch a glimpse of u giggling . i felt happy when i saw that. you have fun too .



ruishan !!!!! <3



edit :


haha i saw u in the year book when u were in sec 1 .omg omg so cute !!!!!! haha i've rly gotta huge crush on u ruishan =3

alright. so here i am typing for the first entry of the blog . the blog created for u !!!!!! hahah. so it started when i added u and sent u a msg in friendster and i suddenly realised that theres actually a junior that i have a crush on ! hah yea u're really cool . hope this aint just a crush. i want it to be prolonged . maybe even be long enough for me to dare to open my mouth to ask for a chance to get together with you. haha it might sound stupid and corny when u hear teenage strangers talking in the train or in the bus about stuff on relationships. but well, it gets so different when u gotta serious crush on some girl. was stretching my neck to catch a glimpse of u but ya, no avail pretty expected tho. till now i m still alt tabbing between my mozilla and my msn to see if u're online. i'd very much like to just receive some replies from u . just any random one word reply will do too. the best would be u opening up a convo with me but haha highly impossible.

wow haha its pretty wordy right here. would really wna ask you out somedays and bring you to some really nice places in singapore i bet u'd ever know them. aye lets just wait for the time to come. pls! come online now ! >=O tho no one would be reading this now.... i m certain u'd receive this url from me in the near future!

hope ta bumb into u in school tml . if so thursday would really be a better day !



rui shan ! <3